So… how are those New Year’s resolutions going?
Are you:
smashing it 💪
hanging on by a thread 🫠
or quietly pretending we never said “I’m going to start running at 6am” out loud?
Or… did you even make any this year?
From what I’ve been seeing in my timelines, January resolutions are so last year. My timeline is full of people saying: “Forget making New Year Resolutions. Take it slowly and start wintering instead.”
Rest. Restore. Hibernate. No big decisions. No high-impact reinvention. No punishing gym regime while it’s dark at 4pm and your nervous system is clinging to life via tea and toast.
I get it.
Particularly for women who’ve carried the brunt of Christmas, the idea of slowing down instead of speeding up, and syncing with the cycles of the natural world is deeply appealing: winter as a season for slower rhythms, softer expectations, fewer fresh starts.
But here’s the thing. Most people hear “wintering” and translate it as: “Ok, I’ll try again in spring.”
Which sounds lovely… until spring arrives and nothing has changed.
What if you didn’t have to choose between rest and change?
What if the real move is building a January-proof resolution: one that respects your energy, your biology, and your real life — without relying on hype, guilt, or a sudden personality transplant.
Why resolutions fail (it’s not willpower — it’s design)
January gives you a motivation spike… but not a plan
There’s a real psychological phenomenon called the “fresh start effect.” In short: temporal landmarks (New Year, birthdays, Mondays, first-of-the-month) can make us feel like we’re turning a page — and that can increase motivation to start aspirational goals.
The problem is: motivation gets you started. It doesn’t keep you going.
If your resolution is mostly a vibe (“This year I’m going to be consistent!”) and not a system (“Here’s what I do on Tuesday at 3pm when I’m tired”), it fades as soon as life gets lifey.
You don’t need more motivation. You need a better structure.
Your goal is too big for your nervous system
A lot of January goals are basically a full personality renovation:
gym 5x a week
no sugar ever again
wake up at 5am
become a serene productivity goddess by next Thursday
Big change triggers big resistance — not because you’re broken, but because your brain is built to conserve energy and prefer the familiar.
If you want consistency, the habit has to feel doable on a low-energy day — because those are the days that decide your identity.
You’re relying on “good intentions” instead of “if–then plans”
This is one of the most useful findings in behaviour change research: implementation intentions.
They’re simple “if–then” plans that link a situation to an action:
If it’s 7:30am and the kettle is on, then I stretch for 60 seconds.
If I feel the urge to scroll, then I stand up and drink water first.
Why they work: they reduce decision-making in the moment and help the behaviour run more automatically.
Goals say: “I intend to…”
Plans say: “When X happens, I will do Y.”
Plans win.
One slip turns into “I’ve failed” (the guilt spiral is real)
There’s a well-described relapse pattern in psychology where a lapse triggers guilt/shame (“I’ve blown it”), which then increases the chance of giving up altogether.
Even if you’re not dealing with addiction, the pattern is common:
miss one workout → “I’m useless”
eat the biscuit → “Well, the day’s ruined”
have a drink → “Might as well write January off”
This is why your resolution needs a slip plan built in from day one.
How to supercharge your resolution (the science-backed redesign)
Step 1: Shrink it (yes, really)
If you can’t do it on your worst day, it’s too big.
Pick a minimum viable habit — the tiniest version that still counts:
“Exercise” → 8-minute walk
“Meditation” → 3 breaths
“Write more” → open the doc + one sentence
“Eat better” → add one protein/veg element to one meal
This isn’t lowering the bar. It’s making the bar repeatable.
Step 2: Anchor it to something you already do
Use habit-stacking:
After I [existing habit], I will [tiny habit].
Examples:
After I make coffee → I step outside for 2 minutes
After I brush my teeth → I stretch for 60 seconds
After lunch → I do a 5-minute reset tidy
After I get into bed → I write one line: “Today I showed up by…”
Anchors beat willpower because they remove the “when should I do this?” problem.
Step 3: Make it satisfying (your brain repeats what feels rewarding)
Habit research is very clear on this: behaviours that feel rewarding are more likely to repeat.
Give yourself a reward that’s small but immediate:
tick it off (visible progress)
a tiny “win” note in your phone
pair it with something pleasant (podcast + walk)
This is how you train your brain to go: “ah yes, we do this now.”
Step 4: Build a slip plan (so you don’t spiral)
Two rules that save resolutions:
Rule 1: Never miss twice.
If you miss a day, tomorrow is the comeback day — even if it’s the tiny version.
Rule 2: Hard days have a plan.
Decide now what you do when energy is low:
“If I can’t do the full habit, I do the minimum.”
“If I miss, I don’t judge — I adjust.”
This approach is also where self-compassion helps: research suggests it can reduce demoralisation after setbacks and support continued effort.
Step 5: Make it identity-consistent
Identity-based motivation research suggests that when an identity feels “active” and relevant, people are more likely to choose identity-consistent actions — and how we interpret difficulty matters. (RCGD)
So instead of “I want to…”, try:
“I’m becoming someone who…”
keeps promises to myself
moves daily, even gently
handles stress without numbing
follows through
You don’t have to believe it perfectly. You just have to act in small ways that provide evidence.
The 7-day Resolution Reboot (January edition)
If your resolution has already wobbled (or died), do this:
Day 1: Choose one habit. Shrink it to the minimum.
Day 2: Pick an anchor (After I…, I will…).
Day 3: Add a reward + tracker (make it satisfying).
Day 4: Remove one friction point (prep, simplify, reduce steps).
Day 5: Write your slip plan (Never miss twice + minimum version).
Day 6: Add identity language (“I’m becoming someone who…”).
Day 7: Review + redesign (what felt easy? what felt heavy? adjust).
Quiet progress still counts. Especially in winter.
You don’t need a new year — you need a better design
Resolutions don’t fail because you’re weak. They fail because they’re often built on:
motivation spikes
shame fuel
unrealistic friction
and no plan for wobble
You can rest and change.
You can winter and move forward.
Just smaller. Smarter. Kinder.
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